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The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed
"One of the most admired men in the world of seduction" (The New York Times) teaches average guys how to approach, attract and begin intimate relationships with beautiful women
For every man who always wondered why some guys have all the luck, Mystery, considered by many to be the world's greatest pickup artist, finally reveals his secrets for finding and forming relationships with some of the world's most beautiful women. Mystery gained mainstream attention for his role in Neil Strauss's New York Times bestselling exposé, The Game. Now he has written the definitive handbook on the art of the pickup.
He developed his unique method over years of observing social dynamics and interacting with women in clubs to learn how to overcome the guard shield that many women use to deflect come-ons from "average frustrated chumps."
The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed shares tips such as:
*Give more attention to her less attractive friend at first, so your target will get jealous and try to win your attention.
*Always approach a target within 3 seconds of noticing her. If a woman senses your hesitation, her perception of your value will be lower.
*Don't be picky. Approach as many groups of people in a bar as you can and entertain them with fun conversation. As you move about the room, positive perception of you will grow. Now it's easy to meet anyone you want.
*Smile. Guys who don't get laid, don't smile.
For every man who always wondered why some guys have all the luck, Mystery, considered by many to be the world's greatest pickup artist, finally reveals his secrets for finding and forming relationships with some of the world's most beautiful women. Mystery gained mainstream attention for his role in Neil Strauss's New York Times bestselling exposé, The Game. Now he has written the definitive handbook on the art of the pickup.
He developed his unique method over years of observing social dynamics and interacting with women in clubs to learn how to overcome the guard shield that many women use to deflect come-ons from "average frustrated chumps."
The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed shares tips such as:
*Give more attention to her less attractive friend at first, so your target will get jealous and try to win your attention.
*Always approach a target within 3 seconds of noticing her. If a woman senses your hesitation, her perception of your value will be lower.
*Don't be picky. Approach as many groups of people in a bar as you can and entertain them with fun conversation. As you move about the room, positive perception of you will grow. Now it's easy to meet anyone you want.
*Smile. Guys who don't get laid, don't smile.
240 pages, Hardcover
First published July 9, 2007
About the author
Mystery
30 books48 followersMystery is the alter-ego of magician Erik von Markovik, the former star of The Pickup Artist, a reality game show on VH1 that aired for two seasons in 2007 & 2008.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 178 reviews
November 13, 2012
I've heard a lot about the "pickup artist" movement, especially on feminist sites, and couldn't contain my curiosity. Alas, these books are frequently checked out of the library, so I had to wait my turn.
The basic theories of the book are soundly grounded in recognized psychological and evolutionary theory. Firstly, women are attracted to men who seem like they'd be good mates and providers. Just as men can't help being attracted to big boobs, even if they're fake, women can't help but be attracted to men who demonstrate a high social value.
Much of this book, especially in the first part, is about how to improve your perceived social value by being extroverted, confident, and most importantly, not doing things to make yourself look weak, creepy, needy, or undesirable. For example, no lurking, skulking, fidgeting, or extravagant compliments to strangers.
The basic structure of the seduction is as such: go to a "target-rich" environment and quickly (within 3 seconds) choose a woman you are attracted to. Using well-rehearsed stories (openers) you make friends with her group while ignoring or disregarding her. When she gives you indicators of interest (IOI), you then begin to talk to her. Over the course of about seven hours, you win her over by building comfort through shared experiences and small compliance tests, and then you arrange to have her go to the seduction location. This usually involves a second day and multiple scene changes.
It's been a long time since I read THE RULES, which supposed to be the female counterpart to this movement. Both of them presume that all a woman has to do to get suitors is "be pretty" and "go to a bar." This hasn't been my experience, but then again, I wasted my college years studying and travelling overseas instead of partying every night. Presumably women who followed the traditional college trajectory had to beat men off with a stick. As such, there's not a whole lot a woman could take from this about how to attract men. Maybe women could use this if they wanted to attract women, and they could certainly benefit from practice in talking to strangers, but it's not going to get women closer to finding a boyfriend. In this world, women sit there and look pretty and men pick the one they want.
One of the degrading/objectifying/sexist tropes of this book is that you rate women on a scale of 1-10, or rather, you rate them on a scale of 6-10, and anything below a 6 you don't bother with. The strategies are different for women who are a 9 or 10 vs. a woman who is "merely" a 7 or an 8. Prettier women apparently need to be aggressively dismissed or ignored, because they're so used to being adored that its lack will draw their attention quickly.
The other trope that raises hackles is the neg. Personally, some of the techniques he uses to neg would make me respond with somewhere between a pout and tears. For example, asking a girl to do something, and when the obeyed action has an undesirable result, laughing at how dumb she was to fall for it.I must not be a 10, because a man treating me this way would not make me think "why is he unaffected by my beauty? He must be able to get any girl he wants." but "what an ass" and "If he's treating me this way when he wants to attract me, how much worse would he treat me after he got what he wanted?"
Mystery makes assumptions about his readers. The obvious one is that his target reader is a hetero man, presumably young(ish?) who wants to sleep with beautiful women. I grant that for 98% of the readers, this is true. But he also assumes that the reader lives in a large city with an inexhaustible supply of "targets." If there are only a handful of eligible women in your town, you don't get a chance to practice.
And you would need a lot of practice to make this work. Lots and lots of practice. For an introvert (like me) just going up to strangers and talking to them is extremely difficult and draining. Mystery recommends four hours a night, four nights a week to just practice "opening sets" (making the acquaintance of a group of strangers.) I think that unless you're an extrovert with a lot of time on his hands, you're going to have to work your way up to that. You probably also want a mentor to let you know when you're doing it wrong. I think sometimes people get so wrapped up in what they want and their own desires that they forget to watch and listen.
It's not a terrible goal, however, and I say this as a feminist. Shocking as it may seem to the unlaid set, women do not say to themselves "Well, I spent over an hour agonizing over my outfit and putting on make-up and doing my hair and jewelry to go out to a bar. I just hope I don't meet an attractive man who seduces me. That would be awful!" Having more men out there who are capable of seducing women isn't a bad thing. This writer doesn't strike me as a guy who dislikes women. He even says that a one-night-stand is not the goal, but an intimate relationship with a beautiful woman. There are distasteful parts of it. The idea of dog-training another person into doing what you want them to do is creepy, as is the idea of a supposedly spontaneous date that the guy you just met has been on with countless other women. I guess it must work, but it seems so false.
I recommend this as a beginning primer for men who are hopeless in meeting women. Absolutely read the glossary first. Mystery will SLAM you with buzzwords, TLAs (three letter acronyms) and other made-up terms that he presumes you already know.
The basic theories of the book are soundly grounded in recognized psychological and evolutionary theory. Firstly, women are attracted to men who seem like they'd be good mates and providers. Just as men can't help being attracted to big boobs, even if they're fake, women can't help but be attracted to men who demonstrate a high social value.
Much of this book, especially in the first part, is about how to improve your perceived social value by being extroverted, confident, and most importantly, not doing things to make yourself look weak, creepy, needy, or undesirable. For example, no lurking, skulking, fidgeting, or extravagant compliments to strangers.
The basic structure of the seduction is as such: go to a "target-rich" environment and quickly (within 3 seconds) choose a woman you are attracted to. Using well-rehearsed stories (openers) you make friends with her group while ignoring or disregarding her. When she gives you indicators of interest (IOI), you then begin to talk to her. Over the course of about seven hours, you win her over by building comfort through shared experiences and small compliance tests, and then you arrange to have her go to the seduction location. This usually involves a second day and multiple scene changes.
It's been a long time since I read THE RULES, which supposed to be the female counterpart to this movement. Both of them presume that all a woman has to do to get suitors is "be pretty" and "go to a bar." This hasn't been my experience, but then again, I wasted my college years studying and travelling overseas instead of partying every night. Presumably women who followed the traditional college trajectory had to beat men off with a stick. As such, there's not a whole lot a woman could take from this about how to attract men. Maybe women could use this if they wanted to attract women, and they could certainly benefit from practice in talking to strangers, but it's not going to get women closer to finding a boyfriend. In this world, women sit there and look pretty and men pick the one they want.
One of the degrading/objectifying/sexist tropes of this book is that you rate women on a scale of 1-10, or rather, you rate them on a scale of 6-10, and anything below a 6 you don't bother with. The strategies are different for women who are a 9 or 10 vs. a woman who is "merely" a 7 or an 8. Prettier women apparently need to be aggressively dismissed or ignored, because they're so used to being adored that its lack will draw their attention quickly.
The other trope that raises hackles is the neg. Personally, some of the techniques he uses to neg would make me respond with somewhere between a pout and tears. For example, asking a girl to do something, and when the obeyed action has an undesirable result, laughing at how dumb she was to fall for it.I must not be a 10, because a man treating me this way would not make me think "why is he unaffected by my beauty? He must be able to get any girl he wants." but "what an ass" and "If he's treating me this way when he wants to attract me, how much worse would he treat me after he got what he wanted?"
Mystery makes assumptions about his readers. The obvious one is that his target reader is a hetero man, presumably young(ish?) who wants to sleep with beautiful women. I grant that for 98% of the readers, this is true. But he also assumes that the reader lives in a large city with an inexhaustible supply of "targets." If there are only a handful of eligible women in your town, you don't get a chance to practice.
And you would need a lot of practice to make this work. Lots and lots of practice. For an introvert (like me) just going up to strangers and talking to them is extremely difficult and draining. Mystery recommends four hours a night, four nights a week to just practice "opening sets" (making the acquaintance of a group of strangers.) I think that unless you're an extrovert with a lot of time on his hands, you're going to have to work your way up to that. You probably also want a mentor to let you know when you're doing it wrong. I think sometimes people get so wrapped up in what they want and their own desires that they forget to watch and listen.
It's not a terrible goal, however, and I say this as a feminist. Shocking as it may seem to the unlaid set, women do not say to themselves "Well, I spent over an hour agonizing over my outfit and putting on make-up and doing my hair and jewelry to go out to a bar. I just hope I don't meet an attractive man who seduces me. That would be awful!" Having more men out there who are capable of seducing women isn't a bad thing. This writer doesn't strike me as a guy who dislikes women. He even says that a one-night-stand is not the goal, but an intimate relationship with a beautiful woman. There are distasteful parts of it. The idea of dog-training another person into doing what you want them to do is creepy, as is the idea of a supposedly spontaneous date that the guy you just met has been on with countless other women. I guess it must work, but it seems so false.
I recommend this as a beginning primer for men who are hopeless in meeting women. Absolutely read the glossary first. Mystery will SLAM you with buzzwords, TLAs (three letter acronyms) and other made-up terms that he presumes you already know.
July 8, 2011
While reading this book I tried using the techniques Mystery prescribes to get my wife into bed, but it was too late. She already was in bed.
"All right, wife," I said, "The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women into Bed is the last trashy book I'm reading."
"But, balli," she said, "trashy books are the greatest."
"Yeah, I know, and this one, despite its grossness and weirdness, contains good insights that aren't available from other, more respectable sources. Still, it's no Nicomachean Ethics."
In fact, the book is bizarrely free of ethics of any sort, save for in this one, lonely passage:
Remember, guys, fuck that woman many, many, many, many times.
"All right, wife," I said, "The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women into Bed is the last trashy book I'm reading."
"But, balli," she said, "trashy books are the greatest."
"Yeah, I know, and this one, despite its grossness and weirdness, contains good insights that aren't available from other, more respectable sources. Still, it's no Nicomachean Ethics."
In fact, the book is bizarrely free of ethics of any sort, save for in this one, lonely passage:
"If you have sex with the woman only once and disappear, when she wants you to stay in her life in some capacity, a protection circuit in her head will punish her, sometimes severely, for compromising her chances of survival and replication. I've been told that it feels to a woman as if something very important has been stolen from her, and it's unethical to subject anyone to such painful and regretful feelings."
Remember, guys, fuck that woman many, many, many, many times.
March 16, 2009
Fascinating pick up artist social marketing guide. The digital era of Casanova wannabes spawns one Erik von Markovik into fame, as the illustrious Mystery, the teacher and leader of the lady killers. A dating consultant who holds high dollar seminars and real time practice in the field, Mystery has written what is revered in the online community as the seduction bible. It contains explicit descriptions of his techniques, jargon, lines, approaches, and everything under the sun to attract and pick up women. The result of mastering the skills is creating instant physical and emotional attraction in the all-important first 30 minutes of social interaction with a new target. (babe). He then walks you through the steps all the way to the close. Whether your pursuit of women is your destiny, or a part-time sport, this is a college course you must take.
For this genre, I recommend the Mystery Method and two more.
The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists.
This is a fascinating journey by an author with marginal skills with the ladies (despite fame), who sets out on a life changing mission to master picking up women using the Mystery Method. The characters are philanderers, gigolos, wannabes, braggarts, and every dysfunctional category in between. Their quest is obvious, and thrust in your face; to sleep with as many beautiful women as possible. The author Strauss has written several best sellers, as well as for Rolling Stone, and literally has no competition when it comes to spinning tales of this type.
The other thought provoking mindbender that catapults your hooking up skills is
The_Professional_Bachelor_Dating_Guide_How_to_Exploit_Her_Inner_Psycho.
This is a devious sexual persuasion guide for hooking up, written by a psych doc who cruised the nightclubs with great success for a decade. It also contains an asset protection guide to set up pre-marriage to shield you from divorce.
Get these three, and get ready to laugh and learn. Really interesting books.
The Game
For this genre, I recommend the Mystery Method and two more.
The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists.
This is a fascinating journey by an author with marginal skills with the ladies (despite fame), who sets out on a life changing mission to master picking up women using the Mystery Method. The characters are philanderers, gigolos, wannabes, braggarts, and every dysfunctional category in between. Their quest is obvious, and thrust in your face; to sleep with as many beautiful women as possible. The author Strauss has written several best sellers, as well as for Rolling Stone, and literally has no competition when it comes to spinning tales of this type.
The other thought provoking mindbender that catapults your hooking up skills is
The_Professional_Bachelor_Dating_Guide_How_to_Exploit_Her_Inner_Psycho.
This is a devious sexual persuasion guide for hooking up, written by a psych doc who cruised the nightclubs with great success for a decade. It also contains an asset protection guide to set up pre-marriage to shield you from divorce.
Get these three, and get ready to laugh and learn. Really interesting books.
The Game
October 26, 2019
As a man it's impressive to find a book so putrid to read or even stomach where women are treated terribly that isn't some horror snuff book or history text. But this here is a book telling you that women are dogs, must be groomed and taught like dogs, and should be trained. In ten hours or more.
Trained is not the word you ever want to see outside of a child rearing book or a dog guide, but on grown women who are pursued for sex, this is a massive red flag.
Now take that red flag and repeat it along with "punish her" and you have a cocktail of terror and manipulation.
If you'd rather not read this sexual assault and abusive manifesto, listen to it read by someone with loads more info on it and don't ever buy it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8njF...
Trained is not the word you ever want to see outside of a child rearing book or a dog guide, but on grown women who are pursued for sex, this is a massive red flag.
Now take that red flag and repeat it along with "punish her" and you have a cocktail of terror and manipulation.
If you'd rather not read this sexual assault and abusive manifesto, listen to it read by someone with loads more info on it and don't ever buy it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8njF...
Shelved as 'not-to-read'
August 11, 2015
OMG! Is this the real life prototype for the Tom Cruise character in Magnolia? He sounds scarily similar...
Shelved as 'all-aboard-the-nope-train'
December 21, 2019Wtf
July 14, 2009
While searching for a book titled "1001 Ways for a Middle-Aged Father of Five to Keep the Spark in His Marraige Alive, Be Romantic and Make His Wife Swoon Constantly," I found this one. Intrigued, I was amused at how the subject of one-night stands was treated so scientifically and mathematically. The book was written in a tone of complete and utter seriousness, and there were more formulas than some of my engineering texts. So, it was either intended as a totally serious book, or was 100% satirical without giving up the joke.
Read only if you're in for a laugh.
Read only if you're in for a laugh.
January 23, 2010
I've just re-read this book and its STILL the best book on picking up women I have ever read.
Going over the material again, it has reminded me of a couple key concepts and reminded me of other things I can use, now that I have mastered some of the others.
Its a great follow-up to the book, How to be Successful with Women. How to be successful with women really does a great job about laying out the fundamentals of dating. The Mystery Method provides advanced tips and guidance.
What makes the book so exciting is that Mystery has a totally different approach to women. Even men that have been single for a long time will learn that Mystery can take their game to another level.
I would HIGHLY recommend this to each and every single man out there that wants to date / marry a dime.
I now teach a dating bootcamp and a majority of the key concepts come from this book. The rest of the material is from the school of hard knocks.
Going over the material again, it has reminded me of a couple key concepts and reminded me of other things I can use, now that I have mastered some of the others.
Its a great follow-up to the book, How to be Successful with Women. How to be successful with women really does a great job about laying out the fundamentals of dating. The Mystery Method provides advanced tips and guidance.
What makes the book so exciting is that Mystery has a totally different approach to women. Even men that have been single for a long time will learn that Mystery can take their game to another level.
I would HIGHLY recommend this to each and every single man out there that wants to date / marry a dime.
I now teach a dating bootcamp and a majority of the key concepts come from this book. The rest of the material is from the school of hard knocks.
August 25, 2009
Interesting book. If you like psychology, you'll probably be into it. Lots of theories on social development and why we act the way we do. That part was interesting to me.
Last part is a bunch of "pick up lines" and suggested orders to use them, which I didn't find as interesting. It was more for somebody who really buys into this "method" to study and, hopefully, improve on.
Will it work? Probably. But if you approach enough women, which is part of the process, anything will work. There is part of this which is a numbers game. The author suggests you approach 16 women (or groups of women) per night and do it four nights per week.
For this stuff, it's a 3-star book. Interesting, but take it with a grain of salt. This isn't a magic formula to get laid.
As a marketing guy, I read this more to see how it was put together than anything else. The "pickup" market is HUGE and Mystery is the King. Show on VH1, high end seminars, etc...
For the guys interested in this subject... If he is doing this kind of manipulation to women, don't you think he'd do it to you as well?
Sure he is.
From a marketing perspective, it's pretty good. Lots of "code words" for things to give this niche a common voice/language and make this stuff seem like more than it is. Lots of "techniques" that aren't really anything at all.
More or less, this is a re-tooled self-development book. It's no different than a love and relationship seminar you'd see the back of Cosmo or Self...except that it's for men rather than women. He's selling the same thing, he's just doing it in your language. Men don't pay for "self help" but they do pay for tricks to help them meet more women and have more sex.
Overall, I think guys interested in meeting more women will find it helpful. Not so sure about how it would work on a "dating" or relationship level. Eventually, you're going to run out of pickup lines and will have to stand on your own. And there are no lines that will make you a more interesting person. The stuff in here is just a foot in the door...maybe. Take what works for you and leave the rest.
Last part is a bunch of "pick up lines" and suggested orders to use them, which I didn't find as interesting. It was more for somebody who really buys into this "method" to study and, hopefully, improve on.
Will it work? Probably. But if you approach enough women, which is part of the process, anything will work. There is part of this which is a numbers game. The author suggests you approach 16 women (or groups of women) per night and do it four nights per week.
For this stuff, it's a 3-star book. Interesting, but take it with a grain of salt. This isn't a magic formula to get laid.
As a marketing guy, I read this more to see how it was put together than anything else. The "pickup" market is HUGE and Mystery is the King. Show on VH1, high end seminars, etc...
For the guys interested in this subject... If he is doing this kind of manipulation to women, don't you think he'd do it to you as well?
Sure he is.
From a marketing perspective, it's pretty good. Lots of "code words" for things to give this niche a common voice/language and make this stuff seem like more than it is. Lots of "techniques" that aren't really anything at all.
More or less, this is a re-tooled self-development book. It's no different than a love and relationship seminar you'd see the back of Cosmo or Self...except that it's for men rather than women. He's selling the same thing, he's just doing it in your language. Men don't pay for "self help" but they do pay for tricks to help them meet more women and have more sex.
Overall, I think guys interested in meeting more women will find it helpful. Not so sure about how it would work on a "dating" or relationship level. Eventually, you're going to run out of pickup lines and will have to stand on your own. And there are no lines that will make you a more interesting person. The stuff in here is just a foot in the door...maybe. Take what works for you and leave the rest.
January 31, 2008
I borrowed this one from the library with the same skepticism as when I borrowed He's Just Not That Into You.
Mystery is right on the money with his social dynamic theories. It killed me to sit there and agree with him, especially since I *am* female! I think this is the first dating book that I've ever read that breaks out "the game" on a psychological basis, and more than standard advice like don't call the day after getting a number.
I'm actually sending off my coworker with this book as a parting gift because he desperately needs to improve his game. (He'll be on travel for a month, so he can practice his newly acquired skills there.)
Mystery is right on the money with his social dynamic theories. It killed me to sit there and agree with him, especially since I *am* female! I think this is the first dating book that I've ever read that breaks out "the game" on a psychological basis, and more than standard advice like don't call the day after getting a number.
I'm actually sending off my coworker with this book as a parting gift because he desperately needs to improve his game. (He'll be on travel for a month, so he can practice his newly acquired skills there.)
February 9, 2013
I don't much like 'Mystery' as far as his personality goes. His is a narrow and two-dimensional mindset; tuned into in this one particular pseudo-field but not well-rounded in any other way. Also: I definitely don't like all the imbeciles and losers who comprise his retinue. All these elaborate sagas about living together in mansions. Please, grow up.
Additionally I feel there's some gaping holes in the method he's so proud of. Careful reading reveals far too many 'exceptions'--'differences' between the type of guy he is vs the type of guy the rest of men are--incongruities which make it work for him, rather than work en-masse.
You could almost boil down his whole system into one concept: "When you enter a room, be 'Mr. Wonderful'. Be the 'life of the party'. Don't be afraid to 'make a fool of yourself'. Be a man's man". Uhh, these concepts go back to 1950s cocktail parties. Farther back than Ross Jeffries, even.
There's good reasons why its impractical and even foolhardy to try to push the envelope in the way that he and his cheesy friends have done. Its not just that riding the media circus as much as he's doing (to rake in money of course) means its much easier for women to be alerted in advance to all the Jedi-mind-tricks he urges guys to employ. [He makes big bucks, but kills the element of surprise a lot of his tricks depend on].
Its just that his method needs to be a lot smoother; a lot more scientific; more grounded in an academic footing. It needs to be more *subtle*. Not so ham-handed, so clumsy. Success should NOT depend so heavily on a 'numbers game'. You shouldn't have to meet mass quantities of women to get 'a percentage of them' into bed.
MM concepts are also not that innovative, in and of themselves. Its just a mixture of pop psychology, magazine-tips; and fringe culture insights. Any intelligent, well-read, conversational, socially-attuned guy was aware of most of what he outlined long before his book came on the scene. Perhaps we never formulated these principles into diagrams and step-by-step procedures; but yeah I think most of us knew about simple techniques like 'ask open-ended questions'. Du'oh.
For me, my biggest complaint about MM is that it takes no account of men's individual personalities. All his individual students become just ONE (one fairly revolting) personality like a Herb Tarleck or something. But individuality is simply buried in the section about "be the best person you can be, re-invent yourself along these lines, present yourself to best-effect, don't retain old, bad habits". Gee, really? That simple...just join the Borg. No thanks.
And it goes without saying that MM entirely glosses over the concept of 'individual female personalities'. He grossly underestimates their instincts; their abilities, and their intuition. Rampantly.
Observe: the Mystery Method works best on a certain type of unsavvy, infrequent reader, beach-girl, model-type girl, doesn't it? That's the only kind he ever talks about. Ditzy blondes and party-chicks. As if that's the only kind of desirable woman out there; as if '8s, 9s, & 10s' are the only worthwhile 'targets'.
And what happens when a girl is bright enough to figure out you're scamming her? Well nothing, if you're Mystery (or anyone like him). You bluff and charm your way through it. But the far better method is to always just 'be yourself'. [This enduring concept--one which not a lot of money can be made from--unsurprisingly, gets minimal accord in his system.]
Now. All that being said, I still find the Mystery Method to be the best of all the dating systems out there. Its really the only one with workable elements that can be extracted for one's own, personal style. Its the most coherent and accessible. He is genuinely (as he trumpets) miles ahead of any of his copycats. His are the only two books for this genre, which I ever found remotely readable.
I honestly think he did something very clever and ingenious--pulling a lot of disparate, unconnected theories together (bits and pieces that were lying around from 'failed systems') and packaged them together into something new and useful. His skill lies entirely in that re-organizing and re-structuring; in making a clean, clear, fresh start for this field of male self-improvement. He's an Elvis. A re-compiler, a re-interpreter of dating lore.
I definitely give him credit, for being the best presenter of the information and at the same time, revolutionizing a stagnant area of male development. Creepy Neil Strauss was right about one thing: lots of guys need some help in social skills. Simply as an introduction to socialization for the completely backward, hamstrung chump/fumbler; MM is valuable in that it can give beginners much-needed confidence.
Still, what 'Mystery' should do is grow up and stop obsessing over the 'fantasy threesome' that he can't seem to shed.
Additionally I feel there's some gaping holes in the method he's so proud of. Careful reading reveals far too many 'exceptions'--'differences' between the type of guy he is vs the type of guy the rest of men are--incongruities which make it work for him, rather than work en-masse.
You could almost boil down his whole system into one concept: "When you enter a room, be 'Mr. Wonderful'. Be the 'life of the party'. Don't be afraid to 'make a fool of yourself'. Be a man's man". Uhh, these concepts go back to 1950s cocktail parties. Farther back than Ross Jeffries, even.
There's good reasons why its impractical and even foolhardy to try to push the envelope in the way that he and his cheesy friends have done. Its not just that riding the media circus as much as he's doing (to rake in money of course) means its much easier for women to be alerted in advance to all the Jedi-mind-tricks he urges guys to employ. [He makes big bucks, but kills the element of surprise a lot of his tricks depend on].
Its just that his method needs to be a lot smoother; a lot more scientific; more grounded in an academic footing. It needs to be more *subtle*. Not so ham-handed, so clumsy. Success should NOT depend so heavily on a 'numbers game'. You shouldn't have to meet mass quantities of women to get 'a percentage of them' into bed.
MM concepts are also not that innovative, in and of themselves. Its just a mixture of pop psychology, magazine-tips; and fringe culture insights. Any intelligent, well-read, conversational, socially-attuned guy was aware of most of what he outlined long before his book came on the scene. Perhaps we never formulated these principles into diagrams and step-by-step procedures; but yeah I think most of us knew about simple techniques like 'ask open-ended questions'. Du'oh.
For me, my biggest complaint about MM is that it takes no account of men's individual personalities. All his individual students become just ONE (one fairly revolting) personality like a Herb Tarleck or something. But individuality is simply buried in the section about "be the best person you can be, re-invent yourself along these lines, present yourself to best-effect, don't retain old, bad habits". Gee, really? That simple...just join the Borg. No thanks.
And it goes without saying that MM entirely glosses over the concept of 'individual female personalities'. He grossly underestimates their instincts; their abilities, and their intuition. Rampantly.
Observe: the Mystery Method works best on a certain type of unsavvy, infrequent reader, beach-girl, model-type girl, doesn't it? That's the only kind he ever talks about. Ditzy blondes and party-chicks. As if that's the only kind of desirable woman out there; as if '8s, 9s, & 10s' are the only worthwhile 'targets'.
And what happens when a girl is bright enough to figure out you're scamming her? Well nothing, if you're Mystery (or anyone like him). You bluff and charm your way through it. But the far better method is to always just 'be yourself'. [This enduring concept--one which not a lot of money can be made from--unsurprisingly, gets minimal accord in his system.]
Now. All that being said, I still find the Mystery Method to be the best of all the dating systems out there. Its really the only one with workable elements that can be extracted for one's own, personal style. Its the most coherent and accessible. He is genuinely (as he trumpets) miles ahead of any of his copycats. His are the only two books for this genre, which I ever found remotely readable.
I honestly think he did something very clever and ingenious--pulling a lot of disparate, unconnected theories together (bits and pieces that were lying around from 'failed systems') and packaged them together into something new and useful. His skill lies entirely in that re-organizing and re-structuring; in making a clean, clear, fresh start for this field of male self-improvement. He's an Elvis. A re-compiler, a re-interpreter of dating lore.
I definitely give him credit, for being the best presenter of the information and at the same time, revolutionizing a stagnant area of male development. Creepy Neil Strauss was right about one thing: lots of guys need some help in social skills. Simply as an introduction to socialization for the completely backward, hamstrung chump/fumbler; MM is valuable in that it can give beginners much-needed confidence.
Still, what 'Mystery' should do is grow up and stop obsessing over the 'fantasy threesome' that he can't seem to shed.
January 9, 2021
With plenty of evolutionary biology theory, dog training techniques, some NLP terms, and chess analogies, The Mystery Method teaches how to pick up girls, in the nerdiest way ever conceived. And it’s great.
Mystery started off as a magician, which requires the skill of approaching people in an unoffensive way while entertaining them, and then gained an interest in picking up women. He has spent many years of devoted, painstaking "research", as a sort of ethologist geek studying normal human beings and their mating process, and he has done a really good job condensing his many years of teaching into a small, entertaining book.
There are two objectives in life, Mystery explains, to survive and reproduce. Simple as that. Similar to his ethics, his methodology to pick up girls is also grounded in evolutionary biology and psychology.
Mystery uses all kinds of strange terms and psychology jargon, displaying graphs, etc... Some illustrations seemed like satire, making it unnecessarily complex. I get the feeling Mystery is deliberately trying to sound weird to please what he figured would be the target audience. For instance, he describes “making her like you” as “triggering her attraction brain-circuits” - perhaps as a way to emphasise the predictability of the response.
There is no doubt that Mystery is a master at meeting women, and he packed the book with good advice. The book focuses quite a bit on the micro-techniques to come off as ever so higher value, but he's also advocating a much more holistic approach, for instance, live your dream! Have a cool life, don’t make pickup your whole identity, etc...
Mystery wants to leave as few things to chance as possible and therefore has provided the most systematic way of looking at the process of picking up girls I've seen.
A good pickup consists of 1) opening and generating attraction, 2) creating comfort, and then 3) seduce her sexually, in that order. To do that you must learn how to demonstrate high value (DHV) quickly and consistently, pass her congruence tests, maintaining a strong frame, until you get enough indicators of interests (IOIs), to move onto the next stage and create comfort and continually test her willingness to comply to your requests, in a gradually increasing degree, until sex.
There is a large emphasis on comfort. Don't be just another guy who was wacky and cool in the club. Make her get to know you. Also, avoid super-fast one night stands. Mystery advocates creating genuine connections, and delay seduction after you get to know each other, so she won't regret sleeping with you and will be happy to meet you the day after. This advice is novel to me from pickup literature. Real players must have the self-restraint to delay sex before enough comfort is established, which typically occurs in about seven hours, also called the seven-hour rule.
Mystery advocates an indirect approach, not explicitly hitting on the "target," but instead, demonstrates high value and keeps validation and attention just beyond reach for her, and continually testing her compliance level.
Some points I liked in particular:
"Smile. Guys that don't have success with women don't smile."
Become a talkative, sociable guy with an exciting life, invite her to come along.
When she asks what you do, consider why she’s asking. Is it just to make conversation? Does she want to get to know you? Or genuinely cares about the way in which you earn money? If she wants to know you, tell her the process from childhood and how I got here. You become more relatable that way.
Don't get stuck up on one conversational thread. When people are afraid to change topics, they care too much. Have multiple threads going. Don’t be afraid to cut boring topics short abruptly.
If your frame is strong enough, you can get away with anything.
Mystery started off as a magician, which requires the skill of approaching people in an unoffensive way while entertaining them, and then gained an interest in picking up women. He has spent many years of devoted, painstaking "research", as a sort of ethologist geek studying normal human beings and their mating process, and he has done a really good job condensing his many years of teaching into a small, entertaining book.
There are two objectives in life, Mystery explains, to survive and reproduce. Simple as that. Similar to his ethics, his methodology to pick up girls is also grounded in evolutionary biology and psychology.
Mystery uses all kinds of strange terms and psychology jargon, displaying graphs, etc... Some illustrations seemed like satire, making it unnecessarily complex. I get the feeling Mystery is deliberately trying to sound weird to please what he figured would be the target audience. For instance, he describes “making her like you” as “triggering her attraction brain-circuits” - perhaps as a way to emphasise the predictability of the response.
There is no doubt that Mystery is a master at meeting women, and he packed the book with good advice. The book focuses quite a bit on the micro-techniques to come off as ever so higher value, but he's also advocating a much more holistic approach, for instance, live your dream! Have a cool life, don’t make pickup your whole identity, etc...
Mystery wants to leave as few things to chance as possible and therefore has provided the most systematic way of looking at the process of picking up girls I've seen.
A good pickup consists of 1) opening and generating attraction, 2) creating comfort, and then 3) seduce her sexually, in that order. To do that you must learn how to demonstrate high value (DHV) quickly and consistently, pass her congruence tests, maintaining a strong frame, until you get enough indicators of interests (IOIs), to move onto the next stage and create comfort and continually test her willingness to comply to your requests, in a gradually increasing degree, until sex.
There is a large emphasis on comfort. Don't be just another guy who was wacky and cool in the club. Make her get to know you. Also, avoid super-fast one night stands. Mystery advocates creating genuine connections, and delay seduction after you get to know each other, so she won't regret sleeping with you and will be happy to meet you the day after. This advice is novel to me from pickup literature. Real players must have the self-restraint to delay sex before enough comfort is established, which typically occurs in about seven hours, also called the seven-hour rule.
Mystery advocates an indirect approach, not explicitly hitting on the "target," but instead, demonstrates high value and keeps validation and attention just beyond reach for her, and continually testing her compliance level.
Some points I liked in particular:
"Smile. Guys that don't have success with women don't smile."
Become a talkative, sociable guy with an exciting life, invite her to come along.
When she asks what you do, consider why she’s asking. Is it just to make conversation? Does she want to get to know you? Or genuinely cares about the way in which you earn money? If she wants to know you, tell her the process from childhood and how I got here. You become more relatable that way.
Don't get stuck up on one conversational thread. When people are afraid to change topics, they care too much. Have multiple threads going. Don’t be afraid to cut boring topics short abruptly.
If your frame is strong enough, you can get away with anything.
November 9, 2021
I have never felt so conflicted about a book before.
The attitude towards women is very distasteful but the way he helps you put yourself into a woman's shoes and see what she's going through everyday is illuminating.
Although the goal of the book is to get you laid, much of the material can be applied to the social dynamic at large. This man clearly has passion for the subject of human interaction and experience to back it up. He's broken things down into more manageable chunks, he's classified the stages, there are even equations! He's put in a great deal of time and focus into this.
The primary advice on putting yourself into as many social situations as you can is broad and not too helpful to introverts. That type of discomfort can be better endured in a more rewarding field.
Real life also isn't as straight forward as his plans in the book. You might run into jealous guys with sensitive egos that beat your ass. There are a lot of people not comfortable with strangers of any kind. Lots of outliers aren't even considered in the book.
Where this book really excels is the "science". IOI's and IOD's, he even made acronyms which fit into little lists and equations. Indicators of interest and indicators of disinterest. Demonstrating higher value and lower value depending on what you say or how you display yourself. Complaining about the beer vs stimulating conversation about an interesting topic. There are so many subtle things we may not even be aware we're doing but everyone else is.
The mention of negging or pointing out when someone is doing something socially unpleasant also seems like an evolutionarily wholesome behavior. Balance is important in any aspect of life. Always being positive or submissive makes one bland. Ups and downs keep things exciting but also honest.
This book helps you shine your brighter side to people and not go in there like you're about to take a test you didn't even know was coming. It doesn't have to be about getting laid. Instead you can provide more value to people as a friend and be pleasantly surprised when they reciprocate the good feelings/intentions.
The attitude towards women is very distasteful but the way he helps you put yourself into a woman's shoes and see what she's going through everyday is illuminating.
Although the goal of the book is to get you laid, much of the material can be applied to the social dynamic at large. This man clearly has passion for the subject of human interaction and experience to back it up. He's broken things down into more manageable chunks, he's classified the stages, there are even equations! He's put in a great deal of time and focus into this.
The primary advice on putting yourself into as many social situations as you can is broad and not too helpful to introverts. That type of discomfort can be better endured in a more rewarding field.
Real life also isn't as straight forward as his plans in the book. You might run into jealous guys with sensitive egos that beat your ass. There are a lot of people not comfortable with strangers of any kind. Lots of outliers aren't even considered in the book.
Where this book really excels is the "science". IOI's and IOD's, he even made acronyms which fit into little lists and equations. Indicators of interest and indicators of disinterest. Demonstrating higher value and lower value depending on what you say or how you display yourself. Complaining about the beer vs stimulating conversation about an interesting topic. There are so many subtle things we may not even be aware we're doing but everyone else is.
The mention of negging or pointing out when someone is doing something socially unpleasant also seems like an evolutionarily wholesome behavior. Balance is important in any aspect of life. Always being positive or submissive makes one bland. Ups and downs keep things exciting but also honest.
This book helps you shine your brighter side to people and not go in there like you're about to take a test you didn't even know was coming. It doesn't have to be about getting laid. Instead you can provide more value to people as a friend and be pleasantly surprised when they reciprocate the good feelings/intentions.
May 17, 2011
This book was something of a disappointment to me. After reading The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists and finding that his mentor, Mystery, had a book I was interested to read it. The Game is extremely well-written and has insights into people and interactions that extend beyond simple interest in picking up women.
Mystery Method begins with what I'll generously call wildly speculative claims about evolution and gender traits. I almost didn't make it through the first couple of chapters. In the spectrum between cynics who presented with integrations of data into ideas always see the leaps and criticize them to model-builders who make those leaps, Mystery is so far out at the latter as to have a difficult time establishing any credibility.
The book improves considerably when he talks about picking up women. His penchant for model-building really helps him to organize a hard-won, trial-and-error expertise into something that can be taught and analyzed. I found myself respecting most of this part.
Still, in the end, since I'm more interested in learning about the aspects of human interaction that emerge in books like this than in building solid game in picking up women, the book fell a little flat. It might be good if you want to be better at approaching women, I'd suggest reading it. If you're interested in more general learning this touches on, it is fairly weak.
Mystery Method begins with what I'll generously call wildly speculative claims about evolution and gender traits. I almost didn't make it through the first couple of chapters. In the spectrum between cynics who presented with integrations of data into ideas always see the leaps and criticize them to model-builders who make those leaps, Mystery is so far out at the latter as to have a difficult time establishing any credibility.
The book improves considerably when he talks about picking up women. His penchant for model-building really helps him to organize a hard-won, trial-and-error expertise into something that can be taught and analyzed. I found myself respecting most of this part.
Still, in the end, since I'm more interested in learning about the aspects of human interaction that emerge in books like this than in building solid game in picking up women, the book fell a little flat. It might be good if you want to be better at approaching women, I'd suggest reading it. If you're interested in more general learning this touches on, it is fairly weak.
November 25, 2019
I read about Mystery in Neil Strauss book, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artist. Neil was fascinated by the character of the Mystery and book had multiple reference to Mystery method and his attitude toward life. Reading the Mystery Method was insightful to realize why Neil was so fascinated by him. Mystery demonstrated his pickup method step by step in this book. It was a good read to understand PUA’s mindset toward life.
November 12, 2019
there are a few moments in the book where you can almost believe his claims that he respects women are true, but then he gives the reader advice on how to trick them into thinking youre someone else entirely. i cant understand how getting laid using these methods could ever make you feel good about yourself. i would feel like a fraud.
September 12, 2007
holy crap... this is one of (if not the single) most masoganistic books i've ever read...
May 8, 2020
Thought I could find some interesting insights about human psychology. Not really.
May 31, 2022
I hope he gets eaten by sharks. What a loser.
June 16, 2020
I read this after finishing Men on Strike, because apparently I’m a masochist. I can see how some of these techniques would work on insecure women, but it sets men up for an exhausting and lonely life trying to maintain this method.
However, I do have a soft spot for this book because Mystery includes rollerblading as one of the cool things men can use to impress girls. In fact, he suggests talking about “the time you bladed down a steep hill and survived” to win over not only the girl you’re interested in but her whole group of friends. I admit that I could be wooed by such a story - I could tell him about my favorite hills! We could go on a rollerblading date! Maybe do a roller disco dance at our wedding! - but I might be in the minority here.
However, I do have a soft spot for this book because Mystery includes rollerblading as one of the cool things men can use to impress girls. In fact, he suggests talking about “the time you bladed down a steep hill and survived” to win over not only the girl you’re interested in but her whole group of friends. I admit that I could be wooed by such a story - I could tell him about my favorite hills! We could go on a rollerblading date! Maybe do a roller disco dance at our wedding! - but I might be in the minority here.
Read
November 27, 20220/1o i am still afraid of speaking to women
December 13, 2022
Never finished this one. Is way more dark than what I’m looking for.
May 20, 2018
I heard about this book and was very curious about what it's like being a PUA. While reading this I feel that this is really learning to demonstrate one's own high value. I like how Mystery takes one through different scenarios. This is definitely a book that should be re-read to be able to know the steps and protocols and not to mention being able to practice the methods. I do feel that this book goes beyond just the teachings of being a PUA, but really learn about yourself, and how people behave in general.
I believe that the Mystery Method can help beyond just picking up women, but can help dealing with people in every day life. I would recommend this book!
I believe that the Mystery Method can help beyond just picking up women, but can help dealing with people in every day life. I would recommend this book!
September 19, 2022
This was one of the first books I read about "the art of pick-up." At the time, it was one of the only options you had for learning how to pick-up women. Nowadays, there's so many other better options.
Not to say that you can't learn stuff from this book. Even though a lot of information is "antiquated," it's still a very good book for someone who's just starting to really want to break into the art of meeting and successfully courting girls. For me, this wasn't about manipulating women or trying to get as many women as I could. I just wanted a special someone that I could have a real, stable relationship with.
Learning "game" was something I was looking to do as this was a point in my life where I wanted to improve on my social life with women and wanted more practical experience with being around girls. You may not have success at first, but if you stick through the program, you will get really good with meeting women that you want to meet and then choosing what you want to do at that point in time. It's a very awesome and empowering feeling.
Like I said, there are better "guides" out there now (I highly recommend Magic Bullets) that goes into much more advanced stuff. This book also tends to over-generalize somewhat, although some things do apply to SOME women as I have found out from experience. If you're going to make this technique work for you, be prepared to push through mental limits you never thought possible.
It's definitely not for everyone, and I still remember my struggles early on up to the point where I wondered if I'd ever "get it, but stick with it. Take your time to learn how to do it correctly, and you will be handsomely rewarded.
Not to say that you can't learn stuff from this book. Even though a lot of information is "antiquated," it's still a very good book for someone who's just starting to really want to break into the art of meeting and successfully courting girls. For me, this wasn't about manipulating women or trying to get as many women as I could. I just wanted a special someone that I could have a real, stable relationship with.
Learning "game" was something I was looking to do as this was a point in my life where I wanted to improve on my social life with women and wanted more practical experience with being around girls. You may not have success at first, but if you stick through the program, you will get really good with meeting women that you want to meet and then choosing what you want to do at that point in time. It's a very awesome and empowering feeling.
Like I said, there are better "guides" out there now (I highly recommend Magic Bullets) that goes into much more advanced stuff. This book also tends to over-generalize somewhat, although some things do apply to SOME women as I have found out from experience. If you're going to make this technique work for you, be prepared to push through mental limits you never thought possible.
It's definitely not for everyone, and I still remember my struggles early on up to the point where I wondered if I'd ever "get it, but stick with it. Take your time to learn how to do it correctly, and you will be handsomely rewarded.
December 29, 2012
A couple of things collided to make me want to read this…
Over the past winter I watched a movie called Crazy, Stupid Love. In the movie, Ryan Gosling’s character sweet talks the ladies with very little effort and great success. Yeh yeh I know – it’s a movie. One of the many reviews on this (actually pretty good) movie mentioned the Mystery Method for pick up artists.
My “pick up chicks” days are far, far behind me. If, indeed, they ever happened – girls don’t have keyboards attached or disk drives. In my quest to understand the intricacies of how selling works, I saw “pick up” and thought “how to engage and sell”.
This is, without doubt, the best book on selling I have ever read. It explores the nuances of human nature, narrows in on common misconceptions about dealing with people for the first time and presents solid method and process to engage, maintain attention and turn interest into buying. Well, the “buying” is something different in the book – but I know what they mean.
Another thing that stuck with me: we’re only alive for around 28,000 days. Made me want to get up and do something worthwhile.
A fascinating read and worth your attention if, for whatever reason, you struggle to communicate in social situations.
Over the past winter I watched a movie called Crazy, Stupid Love. In the movie, Ryan Gosling’s character sweet talks the ladies with very little effort and great success. Yeh yeh I know – it’s a movie. One of the many reviews on this (actually pretty good) movie mentioned the Mystery Method for pick up artists.
My “pick up chicks” days are far, far behind me. If, indeed, they ever happened – girls don’t have keyboards attached or disk drives. In my quest to understand the intricacies of how selling works, I saw “pick up” and thought “how to engage and sell”.
This is, without doubt, the best book on selling I have ever read. It explores the nuances of human nature, narrows in on common misconceptions about dealing with people for the first time and presents solid method and process to engage, maintain attention and turn interest into buying. Well, the “buying” is something different in the book – but I know what they mean.
Another thing that stuck with me: we’re only alive for around 28,000 days. Made me want to get up and do something worthwhile.
A fascinating read and worth your attention if, for whatever reason, you struggle to communicate in social situations.
January 19, 2011
When I first heard about this book I thought it was an ironic name for some hip novel, not a sincere (if you can even say that) how-to book. Then when reading other people's reviews, and seemingly otherwise intelligent women said the guy had his points, curiosity got the better of me. I wasn't really sure how rate this because it is offensive and disturbing for obvious reasons. But at the same time, so fascinating I actually stayed up late into the night reading it. So while I don't condone playing mind games to woo women into bed (he actually called it gaming and constantly referred to "your game"), I think the guy is pretty smart and has figured out a lot about how people operate.
The thing is I was reading a book on toddler parenting concurrently, and the two books have some things in common as far as how to deal with people in general. Weird.
The thing is I was reading a book on toddler parenting concurrently, and the two books have some things in common as far as how to deal with people in general. Weird.
May 5, 2019
Love it . superb book mystery method and revelation both by mystery are the books that one needs to read to underdstand the depth of seduction process as well as ATTRACTION .
By learning Mystery method by mystery you can get any women into your bed in less than 7 hrs amazing .
but there is a fault in this book that it tells you the process but don't tell you about what should be the level of non verbal communication like how much eye conyact and many things .
but is revaltion it was all covered thx to lovedrop and mystery .
but before reading this book i will recommand
"Make here chase you" by tynan
great book to start with it will teach you mostly the basics of attracting girls it is only 74-94. page book then read mystery method and then revelation .
you will be thanking me for telling this .
By learning Mystery method by mystery you can get any women into your bed in less than 7 hrs amazing .
but there is a fault in this book that it tells you the process but don't tell you about what should be the level of non verbal communication like how much eye conyact and many things .
but is revaltion it was all covered thx to lovedrop and mystery .
but before reading this book i will recommand
"Make here chase you" by tynan
great book to start with it will teach you mostly the basics of attracting girls it is only 74-94. page book then read mystery method and then revelation .
you will be thanking me for telling this .
September 18, 2016
Having watched the show, I came across the book and decided to read. I actually have a bit more respect for him than when I was watching the show. The guy has really made a career for himself. Despite that his book is a how to guide on how to pick up women (and fairly accurate, sad to say), I have to admit that he writes it and shows a certain type of respect. I originally thought such blather was about preying on women's insecurities. In fact, I don't know that is what he is talking about at all. I mean, some of his suggests do amount to trickery. But he does appear to show a certain desire not to get slapped and that is certainly communicated.
It's always interesting to see what the other team is thinking...
It's always interesting to see what the other team is thinking...
June 18, 2009
While the techniques described in this book may actually work in practice, I find many of Mystery's suggestions to be disingenuous, superficial, and manipulative. The method itself is simplistic and ultimately lacks depth. Mystery's tone is often immature and sometimes even outright childish. He boldly assumes that all women are exactly the same, and views people as merely a means to an end. So while the Mystery Method may actually succeed in its narrow-sighted goal of 'getting beautiful women into bed' is does so at the expense of sincerity and authenticity; demonstrates a disgraceful morality; and causes a fundamental loss of dignity.
January 29, 2020
I was lucky to have read the Evolution of Desire(a comprehensive book about the evolution of mating) first, because Mystery basically uses the findings purported in that book as the starting point for his ideas. With that said, I concede that the general points behind the Mystery Method are spot on. BUT. This is a crucial but. His examples, his way of showing disinterest, and his overall style when talking to women is crass. It lacks taste and refinement, and it wouldn't work, especially now in 2018.
Take his general principles to heart, sure, but for your own sake, ignore the mostly bovine material he fills them with.
Take his general principles to heart, sure, but for your own sake, ignore the mostly bovine material he fills them with.
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