Millennials want it; boomers loathe it. And the debate rages on. Since 2018, when Mike Robbins published Bring Your Whole Self to Work — a call to action on becoming more authentic in the workplace — proponents and critics have openly voiced their opinions.
In a 2018 Financial Times column (subscription required), Pilita Clark observed, "The people who find it easiest to be themselves are the ones who run the show. This may not be fair. It may not be pleasant. But I doubt there will ever be a better example of what it truly means to bring your full self to work than Donald Trump." Her point is well taken. Authenticity may keep things real in the workplace, but don’t assume everyone will welcome it.
A recent Forbes article by Randall S. Peterson and Kathleen O'Connor, both faculty at the London Business School, questions "whether authenticity is as free of risk as its advocates suggest." After all, as they observe, more than 50 years of research suggests that "the more one's authentic self dovetails with the values and expectations of the office, the more acceptable it is, and the more benefits accrue to individual and organisation."
But is the problem really about personalities and equity, or is the real problem that the pendulum has now swung too far in the other direction? Has the call to bring one's whole self to work not only encouraged sharing, but in some cases oversharing of information or behaviors that never belonged in the workplace in the first place?
The Whole Self Under Pressure
As a business psychologist, I've spent a lot of time thinking and talking about the value of bringing one's whole self to work. By and large, I support the idea — at least in theory. Leaders who show up in the workplace as humans with outside hobbies, passions and family commitments tend to be viewed as more approachable and trustworthy. After all, when you know someone (or at least think you do), you generally feel better positioned to engage with them and their values. There is also a perception that when employees are able to bring their whole selves to work, they are more likely to be engaged and productive, and to stick around in the long term.
For me, the question isn't whether bringing one's whole self to work is good or bad, but what to do at those moments when parts of yourself are struggling and your whole self is impacted. If you've just received news about a loved one who is terminally ill, should you bring this news to the workplace? What if you're struggling with a physical or mental health issue yourself? When does sharing cross the line to oversharing? In other words, how and when might showing up with one's whole self at work create a liability that ultimately outweighs the practice's perceived benefits?
Five Questions To Ask Yourself When Bringing Your Whole Self To Work
1. What might you gain by bringing your whole self to work at this time? Perhaps, sharing personal details about your life or your family members will help you gain access to something you need (e.g., support, flex time or a temporary leave). If this is the case, there may be a legitimate reason to open up with colleagues. If you can’t identify what you might gain, you may want to think twice about showing up whole.
2. What might you lose by bringing your whole self to work? Weigh the risks. If you open up (e.g., about a personal struggle with depression), do you fear that you may be overlooked for future promotions or rotated out of a current leadership role? The answer to this question will have much to do with your organization’s established culture.
3. Have you established the trusting relationships needed to bring your whole self to work? If not, could this level of trust be built up over time? If you're going to be more open about who you are, your personal values or your current struggles, trust is critical. Try testing the waters first. For example, start by being more open with just one or two colleagues. Monitor their reactions, and even ask for advice on whether you should be more open with other members of your team or organization.
4. Will bringing your whole self to work promote or undermine your status as a leader? There is a lot to gain when leaders bring their whole selves to work, but, again, this needs to be enacted within certain limits. If you're having a really bad week and feeling agitated or depressed, bringing these feelings to work may make things much worse. After all, as a leader, people are looking to you to model replicable behaviors. If you snap at employees, you're not only snapping at individuals but creating a cultural norm that holds the potential to poison your organization on multiple levels. Simply put, if you’re bringing your whole self to work, walk the talk you want others to emulate.
5. Will bringing your whole self to work compromise your privacy or a family or friend's privacy? Finally, be considerate. Think about the consequences that oversharing at work may have on you and your family or friends. Bringing your whole self to work should never entail compromising other people's privacy. In other words, share with the goal of being additive, collaborative and supportive.
As more organizations recognize the need to create an open dialogue on mental health in the workplace, it seems likely that the debate over bringing your whole self to work will persist. The challenge is to shift the debate away from whether to show up whole to how to show up whole in a way that is productive, sustainable and good for everyone.
